


A Funny Thing Happened (When Bart Went to Gotham)

by sturmgalan



Series: The Self-Indulgent Happy 'Verse [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU - Comicverse, Impulse (Comics)
Genre: Catlad AU, Gen, self-indulgent happy 'verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-29
Updated: 2012-08-29
Packaged: 2017-11-13 03:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/498768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sturmgalan/pseuds/sturmgalan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was not exactly how Jason Todd had been expecting his night to go when he'd started the surveillance for his next heist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Funny Thing Happened (When Bart Went to Gotham)

**Author's Note:**

> I [blame](http://tabithian.tumblr.com/post/29207058392/ready-to-fly-soot-em-up-replied-to-your-post-so-i) [tabithian](http://tabithian.tumblr.com/post/29674066143/i-do-what-i-want-tabithian-replied-to-your-post-i)? All you really need to know is that Jason is Catwoman's protege, Stephanie is Robin II, and Tim is Flamebird, pretty much. Yup.

Jason does _not_ let out a very undignified yelp when a pair of bug-eyed yellow lenses pops in front of his face. He also does not fall off his gargoyle.

"Hi! You're Stray, right? I'm Impulse! You look just like the picture Robin drew of you!" Upon which a drawing is thrust into Jason's vision instead, and yup. Those are Robin's crayon figures, all right.

(Jason's really, really glad tonight was just surveillance and not an actual heist.)

'Impulse' turns out to be a slightly blurry _kid_ , once he manages to get a good look. All dressed up in white and red - and who apparently knows Robin, _geez_ \- he'd bet other people's money the kid's from Robin's little superhero team. "What the hell?" he says, and then, because, _vibrating_ , "Aren't you a meta? I thought Batsy had a 'no metas' thing! That's practically cheating!"

So Jason's a little worried, okay? Impulse had been looking for him. Specifically. And maybe Mom hasn't allowed him outta Gotham yet, but apparently Robin talks about him anyway.

Impulse dismisses his words with a wave of his hand though, grinning madly. "Don't worry, I'm not here to catch you! ...Unless you were doing something bad." And in a flash, Impulse is back in his face again. " _Were_ you doing something bad?"

"No," all sarcasm, because Jason just can't keep his mouth shut. "I just like perching on gargoyles in the middle of the night."

"Well, that's all right then," chirpy and bright.

Jason... blinks. Of all the responses he could have gotten, he hadn't expected that one. He'd thought he'd have to pull a fast one. Or one of Mom's tricks, which. The kid's not bad looking, at least.

And then his brain has to switch gears when Impulse speaks up again. "So! Haveyouseenaguyinblueandyellowstripepants?"

"What."

"And do you know where I can get some food?"

\------

Jason watches in horrified fascination as Impulse scarfs down yet another burger like four more hadn't gone before it. And like this wasn't the seventh food joint they'd hit in the past hour. By the third, he'd gotten used to the idea that no one was going to kick him out, even though he was in costume and _very obviously Stray_. It's probably 'cause Impulse is with him. People tend to trust heroes an' all.

"This is great!" Impulse says between bites. "Robin never brings me out to eat, even though I always pay for my own food. Something about 'stupid superheroing diets' and 'unfair speedster metabolisms' and 'This is like torture, I can't watch this!' Also, apparently going out in public in uniform makes Batman grumpy."

Jason snickers. Yeah, that's definitely the old man all right. "Lemme guess, she still isn't allowed to tell you her name."

"Nope! She got to tell Flamebird though, 'cause he works with Nightwing, and then she punched him when he wouldn't tell her back 'for her own good.' But that's okay, Nightwing and her wrestled grumpy ol' FB into submission. FB sulked for _days_. Not that you can really tell, but there's this way that FB's mask dips--" Impulse takes a moment to try to demonstrate. It doesn't really work with the Impulse costume. "--Anyway, he totally sulked."

Jason steals a fry or five and keeps listening. This? Is making up for the complete failure of cool (that didn't happen!) earlier tonight. Maybe he should ask Mom about workin' outside'a Gotham some time after all.

"Oh, I'm Bart, by the way. Did I mention that already?"

"No."

"Whoops! Anyways, thanks for the food, I should probably get back before anyone notices I'm not in bed-- waaaaaaait. I'm onto you and your nefarious plans!"

"I wasn't doin' nothin'!" he says, and then he wants to hit himself. Way to make himself sound guilty. If he ends up getting not-on-purpose-captured for doing (ostensibly!) nothing, he's going to be super pissed. Especially since he's pretty sure Mom's on a date, and she wouldn't appreciate being interrupted.

(Not that he'd need her help to escape. That's not the point. The point is that at least one of the Bats would feel the need to be meddling, and then Mom wouldn't be able to ignore that, and then yup. Interruption.)

"You never told me if you saw the Trickster or not!"

What. "Who?"

"You know. Yellow and blue stripe pants? Reformed Flash villain? I briefly saw him talking with Catwoman before I ran into you? I wanted to ask what he was doing in Gotham but then Catwoman somehow noticed me and made this _face_ and I decided it was a better idea to go away, very quickly, and then I remembered you! And I thought you might know, since you're like Catwoman's sidekick, aren't you? And that's why I went looking for you."

Jason stares, because. Okay. There was a train of thought in there. Somewhere. "I don't keep track of everything Mom does," he says, slowly, parsing. "And not interrupting Mom is the smart choice. Good for you." He'd made the mistake of distracting Bats from her once. It hadn't been pretty. He's still sort of bitter about it, too. (He'll get Bats to see he's not a kid one day.) "But that's weird. She said she had a date tonight. I thought she was with Batman."

They both ruminate on that.

"It wouldn't hurt to take a little peek, right? Watch them from a distance? I mean, that's what Gothamites _do_ , right?"

Jason nods. That sounds reasonable. "Yeah. _Yeah_ , let's do this. Just to see what they're up to. We won't be _interrupting_ 'em. We'll just be watching."

It's a _great_ idea.

\------

Mom finds them as soon as the Trickster leaves. She makes sure to let them know.

It was a _terrible_ idea.


End file.
